The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
