a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
