Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
