Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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