She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
