Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
