Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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