If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
