Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
