So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
