so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Randomize
