This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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