you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
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