If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
