the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Are my feet made of real feet?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
