i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I wish you could order shots online.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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