yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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