is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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