just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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