lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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