Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize