im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
