When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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