so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
