Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
