I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
