Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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