so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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