So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
