you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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