Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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