I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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