literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
