i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
We had to coat check the pizza.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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