you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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