Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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