...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
