i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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