he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I want you more than these girls want KFC
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
