I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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