I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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