how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
