The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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