We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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