You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize