So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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