Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize