I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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