Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
