he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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