About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
