just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
