He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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