She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
