Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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