So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
she smelled like a LAN party
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
