Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
