I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
