you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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