The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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